Seeing Me, Seeing You 2020

           “Seeing me, seeing you” is a video piece focused on trauma and internet culture. This project came into creation in 2016, where I began documenting myself on an almost daily basis using my laptop. This methodology of capturing images of myself comes from a place of not having the space for self expression within my family or friends. Growing up in an abusive environment and experiencing multiple events of sexual assault (not experienced in the home), it made me dependent on the only way I found I could express my experiences. I resorted to the internet. Having exposure to very explicit images of mental illness and sex work, it made me believe it was a safe space that I could belong in. I implicated myself into this community of people because I was searching for validation and acceptance from others that I didn’t find offline. I have accumulated over a thousand videos and images of myself in different states of life. Through my self-portraiture I want to bring forward open conversations of mental health, trauma, sex, appreciating the naked body and our own fantasies. I’m using my webcam to capture the “truth” which is full of contradictions. The sexual body versus the natural. The sadness versus the happiness. The mundane versus the fantasy. I'm wondering, when you're watching me are you seeing yourself?